Thursday, August 25, 2016

WWE Cruiserweight Classic August 24, 2016 Results and Review: A Mixed Bag of Wrestling

See, this unnecessary! How Is This Special? Crisp though, Crisp Indeed
The WWE Cruiserweight Classic had their final second round matches and it sets up the quarterfinals as the tournament continues. So far, I’ve seen all sorts of wrestling, but these last few bouts have been rather interesting. With that in mind, let’s discuss the following break down of 3 matches that made up the final second round offerings from August 24, 2016.

WWE Cruiserweight Classic August 24, 2016 Results and Review

Rich Swann def. Lince Dorado (Second Round Match)
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Drew Gulak (Second Round Match)
T.J. Perkins def. Johnny Gargano (Second Round Match)

WWE Cruiserweight Classic August 24, 2016 Review

Rich Swann def. Lince Dorado (Second Round Match)

Lince Dorado is a great lucha style wrestler. Swann has some great swagger and good backstory. This match was interesting, focusing on a mixed bag of wrestling. I don’t like Lince’s offense at times, it makes no sense to me. That’s my problem with a lot of the smaller guys, though. They are doing unnecessary things to entertain, but they defy logic. For instance, a plancha off the top to someone on the floor is unnecessary if the guy is already groggy. That’s just my two cents. This match was interesting with Swann going over with a strong style finish.

Match Rating: 4 out of 5

Zack Sabre Jr. def. Drew Gulak (Second Round Match)

This was an outstanding match up. I wasn’t convinced that Zack Sabre Jr. was worth the hype until I saw him in this one. Drew Gulak put on a showcase of strong style, fast paced mat wrestling, but it was Sabre Jr. that made me a believer. He took on the offense that Gulak had and then threw down some serious punishment, reversals, and just impressive move set. These guys were playing chess in the ring, and it was definitely the best I’ve seen in the tournament thus far.

Match Rating: 5 out of 5

T.J. Perkins def. Johnny Gargano (Second Round Match)

This main event was everything you’d want in a professional wrestling match. The match featured a lot of elements of standard mat wrestling, and some great back and forth high flying. Perkins has the charisma thing on lock, and Gargano’s precision is great to see. This was a match you’ll want to go back and watch this thing again. It was an instant classic in my opinion.

Match Rating: 5 out of 5

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Miz Obliterates Daniel Bryan and Makes Him Cry


The video that is making rounds right now online is a heated one. It shows The Miz going off full shoot against Daniel Bryan. To the point where Bryan starts look like he’s going to cry. The Miz tried to keep things in kayfabe, but Bryan seemed to push it, and things really turned ugly. Here’s the full video of The Miz showing why he’s an absolute powerhouse. Bryan looked like he was going to cry so bad, I’m surprised it didn’t turn into a fight. This is as good as you’re going to get in 2016. The Miz is an absolute beast here, and wow, he just obliterated Bryan to the point of tears. GTFO Bryan, GTFO.

Best line: “If you love wrestling so much, then why don’t you leave and go to the bingo halls with the rest of your indie friends!”

The Miz is the BEST Mic Worker since Cm Punk’s pipe bomb, simple as that.

WWE Smackdown Live August 23, 2016 Results: Ziggler Has To be Done Now

The Once and Future King of WWE In My Book 
One of the coolest things about having Hulu is that you can watch the full broadcast of Smackdown Live. That’s more than I can say about WWE Raw. However, Raw sucks compared to the work that is being put into Smackdown right now. So here we go, a few notes and things from the broadcast of Smackdown Live that was done this past Tuesday.

WWE Smackdown Live August 23, 2016 Results


Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan unveiled the SmackDown Women’s and Tag Team Championships
Becky Lynch def. Alexa Bliss
The Usos def. The Ascension in a SmackDown Tag Team Championship Tournament Match
Bryan made a match between AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler with major Backlash implications
Carmella ambushed Nikki Bella’s return to SmackDown Live
Bray Wyatt began to prey on The Viper
American Alpha def. Breezango in a SmackDown Tag Team Championship Tournament Match
AJ Styles def. Dolph Ziggler

WWE Smackdown Live August 23, 2016 Review


Not that you need me to say it again, but I don’t run down the full card, I just talk about the things I recall and remember. I don’t take notes anymore, because no one cares about long winded trash talk that I can throwdown, obviously.

Becky Lynch def. Alexa Bliss

I was in the supermarket and found that Alexa Bliss was on the cover of Women’s Fitness, which is rad. But then why would you have her lose here? I don’t know why, but what I do know is that Alexa Bliss loses to Becky Lynch, even though Lynch has been on a downward spiral in the women’s division. I’m sure the Feminazis on twitter are going to be mad that this match wasn’t the main event of Smackdown. A quick match with a boring finish.

Match Rating: 2 out of 5

Heath Slater Steals The Show Again

Heath Slater is gold. He has the fans behind him, and this time around he gets another chance of being a Smackdown roster member. How is he going to have to do it? Well, he had to find a tag team partner tonight and in order to get a contract, he will need to win the tag team tournament with his partner. Through the night he was shown trying to convince people to team with him. Of course, he couldn’t find anyone, until out of nowhere comes Rhyno! Heath Slater and Rhyno are a team and if Slater can win the tag team tournament, he’ll get a Smackdown contract.

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Randy Orton looked like a chump

Randy Orton got punked out by Bray Wyatt. The same Bray Wyatt that loses every feud. You know, the guy that has been injured so many times, it’s starting to be funny. Orton looked like a chump. Who cares.

Aj Styles BURIED Dolph Ziggler

JBL said it best when he said that Ziggler can’t win the big matches. Well here he had a chance to get another shot at the Dean Ambrose title, and he couldn’t get the job done. Aj Styles put on a clinic against Ziggler, and was able to pin him after a lot of action. Ambrose was on commentary, and he was boring. He isn’t a “lunatic” anymore. Stone Cold was right, he’s resting on his laurels, it’s stupid and he sucks. He’s a boring champion. Aj Styles will make the championship mean something if he wins.

Match Rating: 4 out of 5

Ziggler is done in my book.

Final Notes on Smackdown


The night wasn’t that great. Smackdown is better than Raw, no doubt. But how much better? Not by much on this night. There’s a new women’s title, which looks dumb, and new tag titles which aren’t half bad. Overall, though, Smackdown flew by because it’s a 2 hour show and they pack in a lot of wrestling. I am looking forward to the Brock Lesnar versus Shane McMahon match, though. That was set up to be grand.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

WWE Monday Night Raw August 22, 2016 Results and Review: Rollins Is Unsafe

The Shining Spot for WWE This Week
Monday Night Raw has come and gone, and people were wondering what was going to be the fall out from Summerslam. Well, what you’re going to end up seeing is a lot more of the same old BS that made the old era, well, tired. This time around the show opened up with Finn Balor giving up the WWE Fruit Roll Up Title to Seth Rollins. It should be noted that Bret Hart said on a podcast that Seth is UNSAFE and he injures people.

Everyone had their panties in a bunch, and then the Summerslam match happened. As soon as I saw Rollins throw Balor into the barricade, I knew he was injured. I called it on twitter, I called it in my house, and yet NO ONE GAVE ME CREDIT. That’s how big my site is. Whatever. I called it first, and you can believe me or not, but Seth Rollins is unsafe, and should be fired. The guy sucks. He injured Finn Balor, he injured John Cena, he caused Sting to retire. They fired Ken Kennedy for less. Whatever. Here’s what happened on Raw, I only saw the HULU edition, and am still upset over the lackluster showing at Summerslam this year. What a crock of dog…never mind.

WWE Monday Night Raw August 22, 2016 Results


Finn Bálor relinquished the WWE Universal Championship
Seth Rollins def. Sami Zayn to advance to next week's Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match
Kevin Owens def. Neville to advance to next week’s Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match
WWE Tag Team Champion Big E def. Karl Anderson
Titus O’Neil called out Darren Young
Big Cass def. U.S. Champion Rusev via Count-out to advance to next week’s Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match
Bayley def. Dana Brooke
Braun Strowman def. Johnny Knockout
The Shining Stars confronted The Dudley Boyz
Roman Reigns def. Chris Jericho to advance to next week’s Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match

WWE Monday Night Raw August 22, 2016 Review


As you know I don’t run down everything that happens, I just talk about what I remember and what was actually worthwhile, so here we go.

Seth Rollins def. Sami Zayn to advance to next week's Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match

Sami Zayn got injured in this match, or at least faked it, but you know what was funny? The commentary team kept mentioning that Seth Rollins injures people. Good job, play it up you putz. I hate the commentary on Raw. Anyways, this match wasn’t half bad, but you knew that Sami was not going to beat Rollins. The whole night was predictable, and that kind of sours the whole pro-wrestling thing for me sometimes. Rollins wins after the predictable pedigree, and that’s it. Nothing to see here. Zayn may or may not have hurt his ankle. Does it matter?

Match Rating: 3 out of 5

Bayley def. Dana Brooke

Bayley finally comes to the main roster, only to take the place of Sasha Banks, who is legit injured. People were saying it was a wellness violation, but it’s not, she’s just injured. She’ll be back in a month or so. Bayley, for now is going to match up well against Charlotte, but will not win. Dana Brooke put the boots to Bayley, but it was Bayley’s night to shine, so the match went well enough. Feminazis on twitter are going to hate that this match wasn’t the main event or even longer than about 10 minutes. I can already see them hating the divas revolution.

Match Rating: 3 out of 5

The Club Sandwich Boys beat up The Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are either kayfabe retiring, or they did not renew their contracts with WWE. They are a joke team now. The Club Sandwich guys showed up to beat up The Dudleys, but I don’t care about them. Oh and the Puerto Rican guys were out there to talk trash, only to get beat up as well. Overall bad segment.

Roman Reigns def. Chris Jericho to advance to next week’s Fatal 4-Way WWE Universal Championship Match

I knew the winner before it started. Roman wins. He’ll get to the main event spot, he’ll win, I am going back to sleep.

Match Rating: 2 out of 5

Final Raw Notes

In the end, Raw sucked. You know it, I know it, and everyone at the building knew it. One shining moment doesn’t make for 3 hours of fun. No mention of Brock Lesnar, or the fact that he doesn’t care about wrestling and just makes money. Also, no signs of Randy Orton, but maybe he’ll be on Smackdown to declare it’s the end of his career. Who cares, who knows, this is all a bunch of BS.

Even the HULU edition of Raw sucked this week. Maybe Smackdown will be better, I don’t know. We’ll see.

Monday, August 22, 2016

WWE Summerslam 2016 Results and Review Lesnar Goes Off Script

Viperville Must Be A Place Where You Go To Die 
WWE Summerslam 2016 has come and gone. I recall someone saying that Brock Lesnar was just playing grab ass in the WWE, and perhaps they are eating their words this morning. This was perhaps the worst evetn that I’ve seen since I paid to see WCW’s 2000 pay per views. Heck, I can openly admit that this nearly bored me to tears, had it not been for Good Island IPA, so thank you for that beer big BEER.

I did not see NXT Takeover. I heard it was good. But I didn’t care. The matches didn’t get me excited, so I didn’t watch it. Summerslam kind of had my attention. So let’s do this, let’s talk about Summerslam, match by match. It should be noted that I did not watch the pre-show.

WWE Summerslam 2016 Results RIP Harambe Edition

THE PRE SHOW Matches Below


The Usos, American Alpha & The Hype Bros def. Breezango, The Ascension & The Vaudevillains
Sami Zayn & Neville def. The Dudley Boyz
Sheamus def. Cesaro (Best of Seven Series Match No. 1)

The Summerslam PPV Show


Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens def. Enzo Amore & Big Cass
Charlotte def. WWE Women’s Champion Sasha Banks
Intercontinental Champion The Miz def. Apollo Crews
AJ Styles def. John Cena
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson def. WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day via disqualification
WWE World Champion Dean Ambrose def. Dolph Ziggler
Nikki Bella, Natalya & Alexa Bliss def. Becky Lynch, Naomi, & Carmella
Finn Bálor def. Seth Rollins to become the first WWE Universal Champion
The United States Championship Match did not take place after Roman Reigns rendered Rusev unable to compete
Brock Lesnar def. Randy Orton via TKO

WWE Summerslam 2016 Review RIP Harambe Edition


Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens def. Enzo Amore &Big Cass

The first match of the night got the crowd really going. Wait. This wasn’t the first match of the night. This was the first one for the PPV broadcast. That being said, this was a great way to open things up, however, I knew from the first point forward that Enzo Amore and Big Cass was going to get buried, and boy did they ever. Enzo is great on the mic, but as a wrestler, he’s got a long way to go to match the prowess of the veterans. Cass is good, but he too looked laughable against Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho. This team is unstoppable, and perhaps the best thing of the night. The end spot had Owens launching Enzo up and Jericho giving him a code breaker for the pin. New team buried, great to see the new guys getting over, oh wait.

Match Rating: 4 out of 5

Charlotte def. WWE Women’s Champion Sasha Banks

The feminazis on Twitter probably hated this fact. So much for the Divas Revolution right? The women’s championship match was SECOND on the PPV show! This match was stellar at times, and there were some insane botches at others. There were so many spots blown, and random elements in which Sasha seemed very hurt. The match ended in the classic Survivor Series 1996 finale. As soon as Sasha lost, the internet went insane with Sasha’s possible wellness violation! That’s right, she may have been on drugs! Oh well. Ok match, not a diva’s revolution, more of the same old BS if you ask me. Sorry Feminazis, your precious women’s division IS NOT GOING TO MAIN EVENT MANIA, GTFO.

Match Rating: 2 out of 5

Intercontinental Champion The Miz def. Apollo Crews

I had to go to the bathroom. When I came back The Miz had won. The best part about this was Maryse looking amazing. Man, what a hot woman. Sigh. I’m jealous Miz, I’m jealous.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

AJ Styles def. John Cena

This was an instant classic. Cena and Styles threw everything possible at each other, and right when I finally thought that Cena was going to lose, he didn’t kick out. He lost. He straight up lost clean to Aj Styles. I kid you not. CENA lost clean. He lost out big time.

Match Rating: 5 out of 5

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson def. WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day via disqualification

Boring match. John Stewart was there, I didn’t care. Big E shows up, and guess what? The Club Sandwich boys get buried again.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

WWE World Champion Dean Ambrose def. Dolph Ziggler

Dean Ambrose is resting on his laurels. Steve Austin was right. He’s putting in the same match every single time, and not even Ziggler can save him. This was a train wreck of boredom. Ziggler loses again, despite a good build over time. Ziggler needs to take his money and go home. Dean Ambrose needs to stop resting on his laurels and quit putting in boring matches. He has the charisma of a wet paper bag right now, and he isn’t going to stand out if he’s not insane. Where was the guy that drove a damn Ambulance into the ring? Now? He’s just a bland, piece of unleavened bread.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5


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Nikki Bella, Natalya & Alexa Bliss def. Becky Lynch, Naomi, & Carmella

Nikki Bella got a HUGE pop here. This just shows you that the WWE women’s championship is not as important as Nikki Bella’s return. So much for that diva’s revolution. Naomi is rad though, congrats for that. She’s great, I’d love to hang out with her, and discuss GLOW TIME.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

Finn Bálor def. Seth Rollins to become the first WWE Universal Champion

The Universal Championship belt design is the worst. It looks like the Women’s title mixed with a fruit roll up. NO joke. The Demon Kane, I mean king, wrestled well enough against Rollins. However, at no time did I want to cheer for any of these guys. Balor sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. Rollins is unsafe, and was throwing Finn around like he was Sting and he wanted to injure him again. He’s unsafe, and it showed. Go back and look at some of the spots and you’ll see this. Just look at the power bomb through into the guard rail, and you will see Finn nearly shatter his shoulder.

Match Rating: 3 out of 5

The United States Championship Match did not take place after Roman Reigns rendered Rusev unable to compete

This never happened. Reigns beat up Rusev, made him look like a chump. The match didn’t start, who cares.

Match Rating: 0 out of 5

Brock Lesnar def. Randy Orton via TKO

This was insane. Brock Lesnar not only showed up to wrestle, he showed up to STIFF Orton. The match was worked Stiff, and Lesnar was taking liberties on Orton. It absolutely showed. When Lesnar threw Orton into the announce table the first time, look closely and you’ll see how much Lesnar was sand bagging him. Don’t believe me? Look how Orton gave him a spike DDT in the ropes. Lesnar’s head hit the mat like a sack of potatoes.

This was all fine and dandy, until Brock’s suplexes got more and more stiff, and eventually he took his gloves off and shattered Orton’s face. I’m not sure if this was hard style or not, but Lesnar was raining closed fists at Orton’s face and you could see that he wasn’t playing. This was a travesty to me. It looked real, Lesnar wins.

A part timer not only embarrasses Orton, he cheated UFC took steroids, and now he’s here burying a top guy? Is Orton retiring? If not, he should. This was a joke of a match. Shane McMahon came out, and got an F5 for his troubles. They blurred the lines here. I didn’t like it. I thought this match was stupid.

Match Rating: 3 out of 5


Last Notes on Summerslam 2016


My last take on this night? A terrible booked event. I still cannot believe how miserable this whole event was. I also cannot believe how both world championships were booked as non-important. If they are so important why didn’t they main event? Seriously. Why? They must not care about the world title, and when they don’t care, guess what? I don’t care at all either.

This was the worst Summerslam since 1993 or 1995, I can’t remember, they both sucked. I can’t believe I wasted 4 hours of my life on this piece of garbage. WWE is really out of touch if they thought this was a good event. If you did too, you’re wrong.

I’m done. I don’t even care about Raw, but I’ll have a review for it coming up. This was a stupid show. Stupid, Stupid show.

Overall Summerslam 2016 Rating: 2 out of 5 for Harambe.

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