|My Name Is Kevin Owens, and I close My Eyes When Someone Fake Punches Me|
WWE Monday Night Raw August 5, 2016 Results
Seth Rollins crashed Kevin Owens’ WWE Universal Championship coronation
Bayley def. Raw Women's Champion Charlotte
Bo Dallas def. Kyle Roberts
Seth Rollins def. Chris Jericho
Sheamus def. Cesaro; leads the Best of Seven Series 3-0
The Shining Stars def. Enzo Amore & Big Cass
Nia Jax def. Ann Esposito
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson introduced ‘The Old Day’
Darren Young def. Jinder Mahal
Braun Strowman def. Sin Cara via Cout-out
Sasha Banks returned to Raw
WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn
WWE Monday Night Raw August 5, 2016 Review
If you are new to this site, welcome. I don’t rundown every aspect of Raw, instead, I talk about what I remembered, liked, and thought about during the HULU version of this broadcast.
Kevin Owens Has Sold Out As Champion
The best thing about Kevin Owens is that he wasn’t conforming to the standards of WWE programming. He didn’t come out wearing a suit, he showed up with a t-shirt and basketball shorts. He wasn’t built like a fortress, he is kind of chubby, and yet he’s super athletic. He’s an “every man”. But on Raw he showed up in a suit, and he basically sold out. It was stupid, and so was the opening 20 minute talking segment that brought out Seth Rollins to cheers, and a match set up for Clash of Champions, here in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Bayley defeated Charlotte Is A STUPID Idea
This match was short, sweet, and well, studpid. Charlotte losing is not a great way to make a champion look good. This match should’ve ended in a DQ finish with Bayley getting beat up instead of Charlotte losing via pinfall after the Bayley To Belly suplex. Dana Brooke was all over this show, screwing up, but this match was a catastrophe. This is the exact same booking that you would get with the DIVAS division, yeah I said it, DIVAS. GTFO.
Match Rating: 2 out of 5
Seth Rollins Buries Chris Jericho
Ah, the guy that defeated Aj Styles at Wrestlemania is the same guy that is being buried by Seth Rollins. No one wanted to see this match, and while the two are ok together, I was just surprised Jericho didn’t get injured by the wreckless Seth Rollins. Decent match, nothing special.
Match Rating: 3 out of 5
The Shining Stars Buried Enzo and Cass
Yep. If you saw how fast this match was, then you know. The Shining Stars buried Enzo and Cass. Say goodnight guys.
Match Rating: 1 out of 5
The Old Day Segment Was Painstaking
The Club Sandwich Boys suck. They proved it here. The Old Day segment went long, it was boring, and I just wanted to give up on Raw.
Sasha Banks trashes the Divas Division
Sasha Banks came out and cut a promo and said that she was back, and trashed the Divas division. That reminded me, Vince Russo saved the company that was failing with the DIVAS division, so Sasha Banks can GTFO.
Kevin Owens defeated Sami Zayn
BORING. These guys have wrestled so much that their matches aren’t special anymore. Sami Zayn is wrestling the same match against everyone, faking the ankle or knee injury and then losing because of it. Zayn is floundering, and I can see the WWE dropping him within a few years, just like they drop a lot of stars.
Match Rating: 3 out of 5
Raw Sucked, Face It.
I said once and I’ll say it again, Raw sucked. If you loved this show, there’s something wrong with you. This show was bland, and just awfully written. Oh well. They all can’t be winners, right? Right?