WWE Monday Night Raw April 17, 2017 Results and Review Same Old SHIZNIT

Monday Night Raw 

If you were looking for Monday Night Raw to follow up on their previous booking, don’t look for it here. This night in Ohio had a lot of flaws, with a few cool matches to book. Overall, this is not a great Raw, but you know what? Perhaps you thought differently. Let’s discuss it, or rather let me write about it to an audience of no one.

WWE Monday Night Raw April 17, 2017 Results

Samoa Joe defeated Chris Jericho
The Club Sandwich Boys defeated Enzo and Big Cass
Dean Ambrose beat Up The Miz
Tj Perkins defeated Jack Gallagher
Alexa Bliss defeated Sasha Banks, Nia Jax, and Mickie James for the No. 1 Contender Spot
Finn Balor defeated Curt Hawkins
Jeff Hardy defeated Cesaro
Big Show vs. Braun Showman ended in a no contest

WWE Monday Night Raw April 17, 2017 Review

First and foremost, the show opened with Brown Shoeman getting an uproarious ovation for taking out Roman Reigns. He was getting so much cheers, he almost broke character several times. It was insane how much praise he was getting in the opening segment. That prompted Kurt Angle to give him a match against Roman Reigns for Payback in a couple of weeks.

Samoa Joe defeated Chris Jericho

Another burial. Ok, maybe it wasn’t as bad as some other matches, but Samoa Joe easily defeated Chris Jericho after figuring out a few of the key elements of Jericho’s game. Jericho is way over, and that was fun. His interaction with the Drifter backstage was great too. Joe wins, and I’m not sure what’s to go down next.

The Club Sandwich Boys defeated Enzo and Cass

Brian Zane of wrestling with wregret fame tried to argue with me about Cass. I’m going to reiterate yet again, HE IS NOT world title material, and he is not going to become the next Stone Cold. He is NOT the same caliber of talent. I like the guy enough, but if him and Enzo keep getting mauled in the tag division, like they did against the Club Sandwhich boys, it’s going to be dreadful. This match was lame. I hope to never see it again.

Dean Ambrose on Miz TV

The Miz didn’t say anything that we already didn’t know. Dean Ambrose sucks. He plays dumb, and is collecting a giant paycheck, then going home to bang Renee Young. Lucky bastard. Ok, maybe he deserves it, but then again, I could go with Jennifer White for an hour for $1200 so maybe it’s not about luck, it’s about money. Dean Ambrose beats up the Miz, and that’s that.

Tj Perkins defeated Jack Gallagher

Gallagher went from contending for the Cruiserweight Title to losing to Perkins. Perkins is heel now, and that makes him better, all of a sudden? Ok. Not a great match, Gallagher’s same formulaic matches are starting to bore me.

Alexa Bliss defeated Sasha Banks, Nia Jax, and Mickie James

Now this was a boring match for the most part, then things started to pick up towards the end. I didn’t peg Bliss to win this one, and when she came roaring into the match and beat up Sasha Banks, I marked out huge. Bliss seems like a really cool chick, and am glad that she got a hometown win. She will face Bayley, in Bayley’s home town, so that will be a good match, I hope.

Finn Balor buried Curt Hawkins

I’m a Curt Hawkins fan, I’m sorry, I like him. He calls out anyone in the back, and Finn Balor comes out. He has a serious look on his face and then drops Hawkins into oblivion with some insane dropkicks and of course, his finisher. Hawkins gets buried for the second week in a row, but man, what a way to go out. I loved it.

Jeff Hardy defeated Cesaro

Jeff Hardy is such a great talent. Cesaro and him put on a fine display, and perhaps the best match of the night. Hardy is impressive here, and Cesaro is always fun to watch. What can I say, this was a delight to watch.

The Big Show vs. Brown Shoeman ended in a no Contest

Here’s where I find serious issue. Why is Braun Strowman having such a hard time against The Big Show? He should be mauling him, but that’s not what we get. Strowman fights hard to get through this one, and the ending comes with the two crashing onto the mat and the ring breaking. The same spot we’ve seen many times before. Michael Cole also said that the Big Show used to have an elbow drop from the top as his finisher, which is wrong. He did have a dropkick off the top, but when he made it to WWE they told him not to do anything off the ground. Then they buried him, sending him to OVW to retrain. Strowman got up and the announcers sold it like he was the second coming of Hercules Hernandez. Whatever. I am not sold on Strowman because he’s going to get buried by Roman Reigns in a couple of weeks. Oh well.

Raw was not great, but it wasn’t terrible. I’m tired of the lazy booking, but hey, that’s just what happens. I had a fun time watching, so maybe it wasn’t half bad after all.

WWE Monday Night Raw January 30, 2017 Results and Review Taz Debut and More

Samoa Joe Channeling Tazz

The night after the Royal Rumble had a lot of things that could’ve gone right. But it also had a lot to make up for since the internet wrestling community was really upset about how it all went down. That being said, consider that Laredo, Texas had a pretty crappy Raw. There was a lot more talking than you would expect, and it was painfully obvious that the WWE is not going to shift away from that format of constant talking. Whatever the case may be, let’s discuss the night in the only way I know how, cynical.

WWE Monday Night Raw January 30, 2017 Results

Sami Zayn defeated Chris Jericho in a non title match
Tony Nese defeated Mustafa Ali
Brown Shoeman defeated Kevin Owens via DQ
Nia Jax defeated Sasha Banks via match stoppage
Enzo Amore and Big Cass defeated Rusev and Jingle My Balls in a Tornado Tag Team Match
Taz debuted to choke out Seth Rollins

WWE Monday Night Raw January 30, 2017 Review

Sami Zayn defeated Chris Jericho in a non title match

The opening match of the night came after a lot of talk, which I didn’t care for. Whatever the case may be, Chris Jericho came out to take on Sami Zayn, which was a good overall match. It’s funny, because Zayn gets these great wins against small guys, then gets obliterated against bigger dudes. Not only that, he’s constantly doing good work, and is made to look like an idiot backstage. Oh well. This match was good, but not perfect in any way.

Tony Nese defeated Mustafa Ali

Another mat based classic. I wonder why the WWE won’t just let these guys turn it on. They can go, and they can do a lot more than head locks and boredom. Nese was asked a few pointed questions by Ausin Airies and that was the end. Nese may be getting a title shot in the near future.

Neville got beat down by Rich Swann. I didn’t care.

Brown Shoeman defeated Kevin Owens via DQ

Brown Shoeman got a title shot against Kevin Owens, but guess what? The BIG DOG came running down, with music and everything. Owens was selling from the night before, taped up, and limping to the ring. Meanwhile Roman Reigns was looking like he didn’t have a match last night, going through Strowman with relative ease. Owens won thanks to DQ, but that’s that. I am not looking forward to seeing Shoeman buried, but you will see it happen since you can’t really put the BIG DOG down, can you? I hate Roman Reigns sometimes.

Nia Jax defeated Sasha Banks via match stoppage

Sasha Banks has been demoted to the internet. She got beat down by Jax, and the ref stopped the match. Oh well. Banks needs to take some time off if you ask me. Jax is on a collision course to the title, and Charlotte will have to do a lot more than she’s been doing to get a big win.

Enzo Amore and Big Cass defeated Rusev and Jingle My Balls in a Tornado Tag Team Match

Comedy act aside, Amore and Cass do well together. Rusev and Jingle My Balls did ok, but this was a throwaway match with no major title picture contension. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.

Bayley, Cesaro and Sheamus defeated Charlotte, and The Club Sandwich Boys

This was a boring match, simple as that. Boring and boring, with Bayley winning after a suplex. I guess it’s a lot easier to defeat Charlotte on Raw, eh?

Taz debuted to choke out Seth Rollins

Triple H cut the world’s most boring promo, and that brought out Seth Rollins. However, Rollins didn’t get his wish of fighting HHH, he instead met face to face against Taz! That’s right TAZ! The human suplex machine! I kid. It was Samoa Joe. However, all I could think of was Scott Steiner. “HE’S FAT!” Oh well. I guess Rollins will have to face Joe, beat him, or rather bury him, then get HHH at mania. Only to win, and then what? Get a title shot? Who cares. Rollins is wasted here.

Brock Lesnar and Goldberg will face off at Mania. Heyman tried his best to do a good promo, but it sucked. I can’t stand the guy. I really hope that Goldberg and Lesnar get another 1 minute match. I don’t want to see them wrestle a long winded affair, I just don’t.