WWE Smackdown August 9, 2016 Same Old BS Again

When the WWE announced the brand split, and they said that they would do things differently, I truly expected something different. What we got was the same old stuff, and if you saw Raw you saw it absolutely in front of your face. Smackdown was always the B show, and guess what? It’s the B show again. It was the same formulaic show that was boring at all ends, including the absolutely predictable ending. What should have been easy booking, was absolutely anything but. I’m absolutely bored by SMackdown Live, and here is a review of it.

WWE Smackdown August 9, 2016 Results

Chaos erupts between Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler and The Wyatts
American Alpha def. local competitors
Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie resulted in a No Contest; Alexa Bliss def. Becky Lynch
Randy Orton def. Alberto Del Rio via Disqualification
Rhyno def. Heath Slater to deny The One Man Band a SmackDown Live contract
Carmella def. Natalya
Baron Corbin attacked Kalisto backstage
Dean Ambrose & Dolph Ziggler def. Bray Wyatt & Erick Rowan

WWE Smackdown August 9, 2016 Review

As you already know, I’m not going to run down the show in the same way that I used to do. I don’t want to be comprehensive because the show is not worth comprehensive analysis. Plus, there are a lot of shows that already do that, and I’m not one of those people that is going to go deep into this. So with that in mind, here are the things that stuck out for me.

A New Era!

Straight Up Tag Team Match - Teddy Long Segment 

I hate the openings of shows that have talking. Why? It’s like Southpark once again is making fun of the show, but this is supposed to be a new era. All that was missing from the opening melee was Teddy Long. I was hoping he’d come out and announce that we were getting a Straight Up Tag Team Match. You knew this was going to happen, and well we get it as the main event. Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose against The Wyatts, whom never win a damn match!

American Alpha is overrated.

The Women's Division Sucks

The women’s division is a joke. Alexa Bliss comes in and wins. Eva Marie is a joke. Becky Lynch gets buried, and all of this happened within 10 minutes of the show. This was stupid. The whole women’s division in the WWE is starting to look a lot like the Divas division. The same stuff you remember from when Michelle McCool’s diva’s championship reign is exactly how they’re booking the women’s division right now. .

Randy Orton defeated Alberto Del Rio via Disqualification

I’m supposed to believe that Randy Orton can stop a roided out Brock Lesnar? Nope. Not if he’s having match after match on Smackdown and he’s having a hard time pulling through. He should be winning with ease, and showing that he’s dominant on Smackdown. Instead, he’s going back and forth with Alberto Del Rio. Much respect to Alberto Del Rio, but man, they are underusing him completely. I guess that paycheck is nice though.

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Match Rating: 2 out of 5

Carmella defeated Natalya

This match was a stinker. Carmella and Natalya just don’t mesh well, and Carmella is trying really hard to be the female Enzo Amore and she isn’t. It was very forced and unnatural. I didn’t like it. The debut was ok, but again, a short match, with a fast ending. I didn’t care for it.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

Rhyno def. Heath Slater to deny The One Man Band a SmackDown Live contract

I like Heath Slater’s comedy here. He lost though, but the skits he was in trying to get a contract were great. I don’t know if the WWE is going to let him stick around, but he may be the last active wrestler from the Nexus. It’s sad that out of all those dudes, only Heath Slater is left. But you know what, he’s a one man rock band! I am cheering for the guy, but he’s not going far, I don’t think. Maybe Cody Rhodes will wrestle him when he gets booted. I mean, not EVERYONE is meant to be champion, not even the RHODES brothers.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

These Two Idiots are Facing Each Other At Summerslam, Who Gives a Flying FU@!

Dean Ambrose &  Dolph Ziggler def. Bray Wyatt & Erick Rowan

This was so predictable, that I didn’t finish watching it. I’m all for wrestling, and I’m still writing about it here, but come on. I can’t even suspend disbelief when you telegraph the ending so hard. You knew this wasn’t going to be a Wyatt victory, and it wasn’t. What a lackluster showcase.

Match Rating: 2 out of 5

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WWE Monday Night Raw August 8, 2016: The Return of Boredom Movements

I can only see the HULU edition of the show. This review isn’t complete, as I can only see the limited edition that comes through HULU the day after Raw. I also want to mention that this is not a traditional review like other sites. I don’t need to recap everything, as not all the show caught my attention.

WWE Monday Night Raw August 8, 2016 Results

Chris Jericho def. Enzo Amore via Disqualification
Braun Strowman def. Jorel Nelson
Darren Young def. Titus O’Neil
Seth Rollins addressed Finn Bálor
Cesaro def. Sheamus
Neville & Sin Cara def. The Dudley Boyz
Roman Reigns ruined U.S. Champion Rusev and Lana’s wedding slideshow
WWE Women's Champion Sasha Banks def. Dana Brooke to ban her from ringside at SummerSlam
Luke Gallows def. Kofi Kingston
U.S. Champion Rusev def. Cesaro

WWE Monday Night Raw August 8, 2016 Review

Let’s start the show with a long talking segment again. Why not? Ok, well this was ok since Enzo Amore is gold on the mic, and his mic work against Chris Jericho was great overall. Kevin Owens coming out to say that he is going to hurt Enzo and Cass was great. This led to a match between Jericho and Enzo, which was ok, but it was mired by interference.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

Seth Rollins is annoying on the mic. I did like that he mentioned that his name could’ve been “Rambo Apocalypse”, now that’s a name I can get behind honestly.

Finn Balor Needs To Learn To Speak Native English

When Finn Balor talks it sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. It’s bad. I should know. I am a Naturalized American Citizen and I have to work really hard to ensure that my words are understood straight out. I worked hard on my lingual abilities and Finn should too. Heck Seth should too. Cody Rhodes should get rid of that lisp too.

Roman Reigns messed up Lana and Rusev’s celebration which was kind of funny. I’m never going to cheer Reigns though. I did find this amusing.

Sasha Banks defeated Dana Brooke

This match was boring to me. Dana is a jobber, Charlotte and Sasha mistimed a slap, the whole match lasted less than a few minutes. The feminists WWE twitter people are going to be mad about this one, I’m sure. They’ll most likely talk bad about anyone that disagrees too.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

Luke Gallows buries Kofi Kingston

I liked this burial, can’t lie. However, I wish the club sandwich boys would go back to beating up John Cena. The brand split isn’t exactly sticking afterall.

Match Rating: 1 out of 5

The ending with Daniel Bryan from Smackdown talking to Mick Foley was stupid. I though tthere was a distinct brand split? This served no purpose but boredom.

At the end of the day, this was the worst Raw since the brand split, simple as that.

Overall Raw Rating: 1 out of 5

WWE RAW RESULTS AND REVIEW AUGUST 1, 2016: VIPERVILLE ENDING

WWE Raw Results August 1, 2016

Charlotte & Chris Jericho def. WWE Women’s Champion Sasha Banks & Enzo Amore
Braun Strowman def. Evan Anderholm
The Shining Stars def. The Golden Truth
Seth Rollins confronted Finn Bálor
U.S. Champion Rusev def. Mark Henry
Titus O'Neil def. Darren Young
Nia Jax def. Ariel Monroe
WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day def. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson
Cesaro def. Sheamus
Jinder Mahal def. Heath Slater to earn a Raw contract
Seth Rollins def. Sami Zayn
Randy Orton attacked Brock Lesnar

WWE Raw Review August 1, 2016

Since rebooting this blog, I don’t want to go with the traditional. I will discuss things that caught my attention, rather than go one by one. I can truly say that 3 hours makes for a long night. I didn’t like how long this was.

Slut Shaming Versus Piggy James

Enzo and Sasha banks on the mic were fun. They were hitting on each other, and Chris Jericho’s mic skills are trumped up for this. The mixed tag match that formed between Charlotte and Jericho versus Enzo and Sasha was fun. However, I found it interesting that the WWE would script “One Night Stand” “Slut Shaming” into the WWE PG era. What was worse? Piggy James or Slut Shaming? That’s what’s up, how you doing?

Flair Was Right About Balor

A lot of filler content sucked. Then we ran into Rollins and Balor on the mike. I’m going to tell you, Balor’s accent bugs me. I am an immigrant and worked really hard to lose my Latino accent, and I believe that if you want to get into the entertainment industry, people need to be able to understand you. But you know what? Who cares. Balor seemed timid on the mic, and nervous. Rollins sucked on the mic, he’s whiny as ever. The fight at the end was cool, Balor isn’t backing down.

Match of The Night: Seth Rollins burying Sami Zayn

Does Sami Zayn win anymore? This was a burial for me. Zayn should’ve won this and made Balor look strong. If Zayn can beat Rollins, Balor has a major shot. Other than the finish, Zayn and Rollins put on a good deal of wrestling together. They work well, and there was no major botch to get scared about.

Like I said, there’s a lot of filler. Randy Orton coming out of nowhere to hit the RKO on Lesnar was cool, I loved that, but was it worth spending 3 hours of my night? No.

Star Rating For WWE Monday Night Raw August 1, 2016

I’m going to give this a 3 out of 5. There’s a LOT of problems with this show for me. There was a few good moments, but lots of filler. Heath Slater, Mark Henry, and so much more is just bad. I had some fun, but not enough to justify such a long investment. I’m going to be going back to HULU next week.

WWE Battleground 2016 Results and Review

This weekend I was able to catch WWE Battleground, and while I didn’t review it right away, I figured it was better to do so today than never. Not that anyone is reading, but hey, I give it a good shot. Here we go the WWE Battleground results and review by me, Sir Jorge.

Breezango def. The Usos

This wasn’t half bad, a lot of high flying action. The Usos are great together, that brotherly bond is nice to see in the ring. Breezango is funny, their antics catching Pokemon have me laughing a bit during Raw and throughout their promos. I don’t play myself, but maybe I should.

3 Out of 5 Stars

Sasha Banks & Bayley def. Charlotte & Dana Brooke

The surprise teammate aspect intrigued me, and the overall match was really good. The match showcased Banks and Bayley throwing down some lethal combinations before they finally took out Miz and Riley, I mean Charlotte and Dana once and for all.

4 out of 5 Stars

The Wyatt Family def. The New Day

Boring match. Wyatt’s win. New Day sucks. Big E is going to break his neck going through the ropes every big match. He needs to stop.

2 out of 5 Stars

U.S. Champion Rusev def. Zack Ryder

Zack Ryder is so athletic, and yet he is useless against Rusev. I’m sure John Cena can come in and deflate the Rusev Balloon. Boring match.

2 out of 5 Stars

Sami Zayn def. Kevin Owens

Match of the night. Some of the moves didn’t make sense to me, but hey, I loved this. It was a good back and forth match. But it’s unbelievable to me that a frog splash and a superkick can’t put away a smaller wrestler. Sorry, nitpicking.

4 out of 5 Stars

Natalya def. Becky Lynch

Boring.

2 out of 5 Stars

Intercontinental Champion The Miz vs. Darren Young ended in a Double Disqualification

I like Darren Young enough, but this match had no one surprised, and it was funny to watch. It was ok at best.

2 out of 5 Stars

John Cena, Enzo Amore & Big Cass def. The Club

Holy crap, The Club Sandwich boys are now officially buried and done. Cena and his crew win, with Cena getting the pin on Aj. Cena does nothing in WWE without his shovel, and here he is burying The Club Sandwich boys yet again.

2 out of 5 Stars

Randy Orton RKOs Chris Jericho on “The Highlight Reel”

Boring.

1 out of 5 Stars

WWE Champion Dean Ambrose def. Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins (Triple Threat Match)

Not bad. I was actually thinking Roman was going to win this one, but nope. He is going to eat plates of dog poop and like it from now on. It’s funny, Lesnar is busted for drugs outright, and he is not suspended at all. Roman gets busted and he’s gone for 30 days and loses 2 nights in a row. This was a good match, but I don’t like The Shield, and don’t like this match. Although, I like that Colby Lopez is Latino, or at least in a Latino family. Sup essay?

4 out of 5 Stars

The overall event was ok at best. I was bored midway through. I need to get Hulu again.

Don't Call It A Comeback

Sling TV now has USA network, and well, that means that I have access to WWE RAW and SMACKDOWN, so I'm going to be reviewing everything and anything wrestling. My apologies for the delay, sometimes I get jaded, but here we go. Hang on while I start this up one more time and see where we go!