CM Punk said it right. When he left, us wrestling fans would be stuck with Vince McMahon’s dufus son in law and idiot daughter. That’s how we open Raw, and that’s what you’re going to be spoon fed going into Wrestlemania for a match between Triple H and possibly Roman Reigns. I don’t like it, and well, you probably don’t, but let’s make the best of it, right? Here are my thoughts on the HULU edition of Raw, since I don’t have the heart to see 3 hours of a show.
The show opens up with The Idiot Daughter, Vinnie Mac, and the Dufus Son In Law. What is this 1999? Oh well, positivity! Don’t be sour! Ugh.
Opening Segment
Triple H running down Roman Reigns to try and put him over is stupid. This is the same water treaded over and over again from the past. I know history repeats itself, but meh, meh is all I can say. With the sole exception of the fans cheering Trips and chanting Aj Styles. Styles, man, what a catch for the WWE if they don’t bury him with bad gimmicks, and getting pinned by The Big Slow…Show. Tired, that’s what this is.
Kevin Owens defeated Dolph Ziggler (burial)
Kevin Owens buried Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler and Owens had a very short match in which Owens just dominated for the most part. Owens didn’t sell last night’s Rumble beating he took or anything. It is what it is. He’s very good, but it pains me to no end to see Ziggler getting buried yet again. WWE likes to throw out shovels, I guess.
The Dudley Boyz defeated The Social Media Jobbers Outcasts Etc. (burial)
Way to bury more talent WWE. The Dudley Boyz win after Flor Rida has an interaction. Bo Dallas rapping was funny, but the short match that ensued was not. Terrible.
Aj Styles defeated Chris Jericho (sirjorgewwwe's Match of the Night)
This was not a 4 star classic. However, Styles absolutely blew away the critics. The missed Frog Splash had so much air, it was insane. The reversal finish roll up sequence, although short, was genius, and Jericho versus Styles can’t be over. These two are destined to have a serious amount of matches, with Styles getting the final rub, and probably his first loss to Jericho in the near future. Whatever the case may be, Aj Styles definitely showcased professionalism, and that he belongs in the WWE.
Sasha Banks versus Becky Lynch (No Contest)
Charlotte interfered in this match. But what got me was the commentary. JBL goes, “look at that hair Michael. It’s red, purple, the ref is bald, it’s like Muppets. Muppets in the ring”. Oh F YOU JBL! You just ruined the epic 2 minute or so match that the divas had. Ugh. Same old BS from WWE and their women’s division.
Bray Wyatt defeated Kane
Why hasn’t Kane retired? Bray Wyatt wins, Kane loses, this is a tired match we already saw 100 times before. The only thing that could be worse is if we saw Roman Reigns battle The Big Show again. This is a horrendous edition of Raw so far, and I’m trying to be positive.
The Rock Returning IS NOT AWESOME
The Rock is a part time, if that, former wrestler. He’s hijacked Wrestlemania main events, he’s beaten top stars, and now he’s back? I’m sick of this guy. You’re telling me that with so many up and coming talents on the WWE roster, you can’t give them more time? There’s SO many wrestlers that get no time at all, but instead, you bring the Rock out to talk. WWE is not a wrestling company. The Rock sucks, I don’t think he’s necessary for 2016, but hey, I’m just a dude on a random blog writing about fake fighting to an audience of nobody.
The New Day segment was cool, but having The Rock bury them is not the best way to put them over, or is it? Maybe it is, what do I know. This HULU edition is awful.
Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns defeated Sheamus and Rusev
This is illogical. Reigns and Ambrose win, don’t get me wrong. It was expected. Even with Barrett and Alberto Del Rio at ring side, they win? What the hell? Ok, I’ll be ok with it. Rusev goes through the announce table, and then out comes the idiot daughter. This is where logic gets thrown out the window.
Earlier in the show, the premise was that the Authority would pick the main event participants based on who could impress them. Well, the main event for Fast Lane should be based on the participants in matches from the night, right? NOPE! It will be Brock Lesnar versus Dean Ambrose versus Roman Reigns. Oh who the hell cares at this point. Triple H will face Roman Reigns, and that’s that. Same old BS.
Just when you think it was over, consider this meme, because well, that’s what is happening right now. Not a great Raw, not a great post-Rumble event. Remember, this was the HULU version, I may have missed matches. So yeah.
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