We are in a time machine aren’t we? If you read my Royal Rumble 2016 predictions, you know that all my picks were wrong. I still, for the life of me, cannot believe Daniel Bryan didn’t come out of the back to enter the ring at number 29 or 30. Whatever the case is, though, things got shaken up. Let’s get to the results and review, but first the review, then the results, because that’s how I do this thing now.
Mark Henry and Jack Swagger defeated Jobbers
The other teams in this match were nothing short of jobbers. This is an absolutely terrible opening. But, I will say this much, the guys put on a fun, fast paced match. The ending was clumsy. Henry and Swagger got a shot for the Royal Rumble. Oh boy. The best thing was that Damien Sandow was in this match, which was kind of cool.
Dean Ambrose defeated Kevin Owens – Intercontinental Championship Last Man Standing Match
This was one hell of a match. Owens and Ambrose took a beating, but it was Ambrose that really impressed with the falls and protection of Ambrose. Sick table bumps, and a 2 table dive to end this one, this match was incredible. It was a great opener, and definitely put on a showcase for fans and naysayers alike.
The New Day defeated The Usos – WWE Tag Team Championship Match
“What’s the New Day’s gimmick?” – My Wife. Yeah, what is their gimmick? This match was ok, but it’s painfully obvious that The Usos were outmatched, outclassed, and out wrestled. Third man antics or not, this was a match that painfully showed off that the tag division is still diminished. It was an ok match.
Kalisto Defeated Alberto Del Rio – United States Championship Match
Boring match, but it’s nice to see Kalisto get a push. Del Rio is ripped, man, I wish I had that kind of muscle mass. Oh well.
Charlotte defeated Becky Lynch
This was a good overall match, but with Ric Flair interfering, and The Boss showing up at the end, this was a bit mired. Lynch can really wrestle, but Charlotte’s antics are going to cause a shake up in this division. Then again, who knows. I liked this match, but it was not as good as the NXT Brooklyn match that The Boss had.
Triple H won the 2016 Royal Rumble Match
Let’s talk about AJ MOTHER EFFIN STYLES! Holy crap! AJ STYLES! AJ STYLES! This was an incredible reaction. The rest? Well, it was good to see things here. However, Triple H winning and Roman Reigns getting another loss is definitely not a great one. Let's talk game changers though, since we know that Triple H lost.
Chris Jericho’s 50 minute run! Holy crap, I thought Jericho may have won this match after seeing his incredible performance.
Brock Lesnar and Brown Snowman. Snowman wouldn’t go down. Lesnar did a lot of hard style hits, and took down a lot of the Wyatt Family, but he got dumped out.
AJ Styles, holy crap. Holy Crap!
Roman Reigns is no Steve Austin.
Kevin Owens against the world, holy crap. Watch this again just to see him wrestle. Incredible.
That’s the end, that’s the end.
WWE Royal Rumble 2016 Results
Mark Henry & Jack Swagger def. The Dudley Boyz, Darren Young & Damien Sandow and The Ascension (Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Match to Qualify for the Royal Rumble Match)
Dean Ambrose (c) def. Kevin Owens (Intercontinental Championship Last Man Standing Match)
The New Day (c) def. The Usos (WWE Tag Team Championship Match)
Kalisto def. Alberto Del Rio (c) (United States Championship Match)
Charlotte (c) def. Becky Lynch (Divas Championship Match)
Triple H won the 2016 Royal Rumble Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Overall, this was a B rating, with some disappointment coming through at the end. I wanted Aj Styles to win, or Daniel Bryan to show up. That’s it. Good night! Or whatever. I’m getting HULU tomorrow as a result of the Rumble, that’s for sure.