WWE Monday Night Raw 8/3/09 Results
Jack Swagger defeated Evan Bourne
Mickie James & Gail Kim defeated Beth Phoenix & Jillian
Legacy defeated Triple H
Carlito defeated Primo
Mark Henry defeated Chavo Guerrero
Kofi Kingston defeated The Big Show by Disqualification
John Cena defeated The Miz in a lumberjack match
WWE Monday Night Raw 8/3/09 Review
The show started off with Jeremy Piven being called to the ring. He brought in the Asian guy from The Hangover, and that was about it. The two were just on the mic, trying to get the crowd into the night. The Miz came out and tried to get into Piven’s face, and he just worked the crowd against Miz. The Miz called out John Cena, Cena came down, the Asian dude (The Doctor) was going nuts, the crowd was going nuts, and they just kept pimping out the crap of “The Goods”. Piven sets up John Cena vs The Miz in a lumber jack match. The match got more stipulations, including a loser leaves Raw clause. Well, just The Miz.
Jack Swagger defeated Evan Bourne
Evan Bourne took on Jack Swagger in this match, and there was a distinct size advantage for Jack Swagger. This was a complete thrashing of Evan Bourne, he took control of the match early, didn’t let up and pummeled Evan Bourne, delivered his Gut Wrench powerbomb and defeated Evan Bourne with ease. MVP came out for the save, but it was too late.
Mickie James & Gail Kim defeated Beth Phoenix & Jillian
Here you have your standard WWE Divas match, with one exception, Beth Phoenix is gaining a little weight. The majority of the Match Beth Phoenix was working like she would be fired if she didn’t look dominant, and she really put the boots to her opponents. She’s got game, and she showed it off by pinning Gail Kim, and yet again I wonder why Gail Kim even came back to the WWE, all she’s been doing is getting worked and pinned by all the divas. The Beth Bomb was nice, Kim hasn’t done anything good in WWE since arriving, sadly.
Legacy defeated Triple H
There’s no way Triple H should win this match. It’s a handicap match from an experienced tag team. I hate when the good guy can trump tag teams in handicap matches, it makes the team look so much weaker. So what happened here? I’m not surprised, Triple H took a beating for a short while, but then came back like he was Thor, and we see why everyone hates Triple H right now. The young guys looked like they were on a road to losing again to Triple H, even after Ted Dibiase hit Dreamstreet. Cody was waiting for Triple H to get up, and hit Crossroads, and with a major surprise to me, WON! That’s right, Triple H loses! FINALLY! I have to eat my words, Triple H DID NOT beat Legacy, haha, FINALLY! Legacy defeats Triple H, I kid you not!
Post match, Triple H started crying about how he used to be good at gang war fare. He said he was going to start up a new faction. He even made fun of Ric Flair and Batista, which were cheap shots.
Carlito defeated Primo
The WWE loves to split up tag teams, they also love putting relatives, or former partners in matches against each other. So once again, we get to see a former tag team that split, face each other out of “jealousy”. I get so tired of this cycle of tag teams in the WWE, and there’s nothing we can do about it. This match, by all means, was ok, with Primo just as fast as Carlito, and the two exchanging moves, with Carlito looking to be ahead in the early goings of the match up. He would eventually get the upper hand completely, hitting the Back Stabber and pinning Primo, winning this match up, and hopefully ending this feud of sorts.
Mark Henry defeated Chavo Guerrero
Once again, the WWE squashes Chavo Guerero. Forget his legacy, he sucks, at least that’s what the WWE must think. Mark Henry basically obliterated Chavo, and afterwards Hornswoggle came in and landed a top rope splash.
Even weirder, Mark Henry and Hornswoggle danced in ring, and the crowd was cheering. I am not sure why Chavo doesn’t just quit, he’s not even relevant anymore. Mark Henry, on the other hand, is getting a full face push. I don’t hate the guy, but eh, whatever, Henry is what he is, the World’s Strongest Man.
Kofi Kingston defeated The Big Show by Disqualification
Kofi had some good offense early on, bullying Kofi Kingston. He was hitting hard, but it wasn’t going to happen as Big Show turned things around and wouldn’t stop hitting Kofi. This led to the disqualification, and another throwaway match up. There wasn’t much more to this match up.
Backstage Triple H was trying to call, what I assume was Shawn Michaels, but it wasn’t happening. It was so weird.
John Cena defeated The Miz in a lumber jack match
This match was basically, John Cena and The Miz, with every heel on the outside. Including Piven, serving as a Lumberjack. The Miz was hitting every move he had in his arsenal, and was definitely looking like he was poised to take this match, so that he wouldn’t lose his spot on Raw. Cena eventually got thrown to the outside and was just getting pummeled by the lumberjacks, none of which were any of his allies. He ws just being taken advantage of, and as the match continued it was John Cena that got the pin, and The Miz is gone!
Post match, things got really exciting, Jeremy Piven climbed the top rope and went for a Cross Body Block on John Cena! Cena caught him, and was used as a battering ram, Dr Ken then hit Cena with his cane, and it was hilarious. Cena then threw Doctor Ken onto a bunch of guys, and it was all over.
Not a great show, not the worst show I've seen.
Next week, SGT. Slaughter is going to be the guest Host!
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