WWE Monday Night Raw 7/13/09 Results and Review Seth Green Hosts

WWE Monday Night Raw 7/13/09 Results

Maryse, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes defeated Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly
The Miz defeated Primo Colon
Jack Swagger defeated MVP
Mark Henry defeated Chris Jericho
Hornswoggle defeated Chavo Guerrero
The Big Show defeated Evan Bourne
John Cena, Triple H, and Seth Green vs Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase Jr, and Cody Rhodes
No contest?

WWE Monday Night Raw 7/13/09 Review

The night opened up with Triple H coming down to the ring. He started talking left and right about random crap and introduced Seth Green. So the special guest host is none other than Seth Green? What the heck? Yeah, this is a piece of crap, Green is cool, I guess, what do I know? I’m a wrestling fan, not a…Seth Green fan…ok…so I like his cannon of work, but overall, Come on!

This was nothing more than Triple H and the WWE pandering to Robot Chicken. They kept plugging the premiere! It’s a load of crap. Ugh…so this is just a reason to promote someone elses show? Lame.

The two guys were trash talking Randy Orton, which prompted Orton to come out. Orton then just yelled at Seth Green a lot, and it was lame. Green than announced the main event. It would be Randy Orton and Legacy against John Cena and Triple H, alongside Seth Green! This is hilarious…hilariously bad.

Maryse, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes defeated Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly

This match was the women wrestlers, wrestling in Bikini’s! This was not too unlike ultimate surrender, only after this match no one would be having sex with each other. At least not on camera. This match was barely watchable, while I’m a heterosexual male, I just didn’t get into this match up. I just didn’t, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched ultimate surrender and wish these chicks would go that far, or maybe it’s because this is somewhat odd. I mean, how am I suppose to take these girls seriously, if they are literally wrestling bare foot, and in bikinis? Then again, Mickie James didn’t need much to show off her athleticism, but man, when she came off the top rope it looked like she could’ve injured herself. Maryse and Mickie were the last two in the match and Maryse hit her spike DDT and it was all said and done!

The Miz defeated Primo Colon

This match was ok at best, The Miz is still getting better. Primo did a good enough job staying in there, but this match smelled of tag team splits. In fact, it was evident, when Carlito ran down and distracted Primo, so Miz got the clean victory…clean tainted victory eh? This match wasn’t all that great, but it furthered the Colons split, which I called on this website a few months back.

Post match Carlito beat up Primo. Carlito is turning heel again…I guess that’s the goal of ALL tag teams…in this modern era.

Jack Swagger defeated MVP

I’m not sure why the WWE is giving this match away, this could be a ppv match in a way, and it’s weird. The match started with MVP surprised Swagger, and Swagger getting frustrated. Jack Swagger turned this thing around and was throwing his weight around. He was cleverly setting up MVP with standard wrestling moves, and power moves, making MVP look like a jobber in the ring, not an up and coming main eventer. Swagger had complete control, and looked impressive in ring. MVP got a small moment but Swagger was well aware what was going on and hit his finisher, and it was over. The Gut Wrench Power Bomb gives Swagger another win, this one fairly clean.

Mark Henry defeated Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho came out to address Edge’s injury. He said hed announce a new opponent sooner than later. Mark Henry came down and beat him up. He said that he was out to ringside because he is Jericho’s opponent! He then mauled Jericho and ripped his shirt off, Jericho obviously not prepared to wrestle at all, still in dress shoes. Mark Henry defeated a less than optimal Chris Jericho, and Jericho ran off.

Hornswoggle defeated Chavo guerrero

Chavo had one arm tied behind his back. This reminded me of the time when Vince McMahon wrestled Steve Austin. Austin had one armed tied behind his back, it was a great Raw. This one? Not so much, this was just a comedic bout with Chavo looking dumb. Chavo lossed, as he did on Superstars, and Hornswoggle was outside the ring laughing. This was such a dumb match.

The Big Show defeated Evan Bourne

I hate the big man small man matches. It usually forces the smaller guy to make some bigger risks and get injured. Bourne had to hit Big Show high up and Show was knocking out Bourne! Show basically trounced Bourne, and this was messed up. Basically, Bourne just got thrown down a few notches, and is like all other cruiserweights, disposable.

Post match Kofi Kingston ran in and hit Big Show with some kicks. Show and Kofi are going to wrestle on Thursday…which no one will see.

The guest hosts for next week will be ZZ TOP!

WHAT THE HELL? ZZ TOP? WWE YOU GUYS ARE REALLY THROWING AWAY A LOT ON THESE GUEST HOST SPOTS! SO STUPID! I wanted to punch my television…why? WHY?

John Cena, Triple H, and Seth Green vs Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase Jr, and Cody Rhodes ended in either a dq or no contest, they never really said

This match was actually not half bad. I thought it was going to be far worse. The competitors were working a little safe, but Seth Green really held his own, and was actually fast in ring. He didn’t overpower anyone, he was just there moving fast, and taking a very light bumps. As for the rest, Cena and Triple H were each taking their hits from Legacy. Orton wouldn’t tag in for a while, and appeared to be getting upset with the way the match was going. Orton had this match won, but Seth Green broke up the pin!

Seth Green was left in Ring with Randy Orton! Orton then kicked green in the stomach, making him the ultimate heel, he then set up for a huge punt, run and was blindsided by Cena, who stopped the punt. Legacy got back in ring and started to beat up Cena, Triple H was outside of the ring, and when Legacy introduced a chair, Triple H went to work with a sledgehammer!

The bell rang and the match was over.

Overall raw wasn’t terrible, but it was a far cry from much better Raw’s in the past. The whole Orlando crowd was cheering Seth’s name, and this was interesting. I liked it, but I wanted to hate it. There were definite lame moments, but oh well, another Raw is over.

What can I say? If you liked it, let me know, if you didn’t let me know, if you have cash buy something from amazon via our links.