I FOUND THE REVIEW!!! HERE IT GOES!!!
WWE Raw comes at us taped for Sci-Fi from Wilkes-Barre, PA, a place I’ve never heard of. Raw opens up fast and furious, which is good for a change, but I kid you not, they immediately give us a rematch from Summerslam!
CM Punk defeated JBL
I could’ve sworn I paid forty dollars for this match at Summerslam. Why in the world am I getting this for free on Raw? I guess I didn’t have to waste my money, since the WWE is giving me this match for free, and as the opener. This really is sad, because I don’t see any other world champion opening Raw in a singles match up! CM Punk really took control in this match, making this match a little different than his other matches. He really had control in this one, and every move JBL threw at him, Punk had a counter or a way to slow things down. JBL was missing every single offensive opportunity, or was getting reversed into arm drags, and take downs. Punk eventually dove out of the ring into the announce table, but JBL didn’t get the upper hand at all.
This all ended towards the commercial break, and JBL really got the upper hand with some quick wits and reversals. The match really started getting its bearings towards the end with a lot of near falls and Punk hanging on for dear life as JBL was getting into his groove. JBL then threw everything at Punk that he had, including a Clothesline From Hell, only to get a two count. JBL got frustrated and went out for a chair, but the ref stopped him and Punk countered with the GTS for the clean victory. C.M Punk defeated JBL clean once again and this math was more enjoyable than the match at Summerslam. This didn’t go the same way that the usual C.M Punk match went, it seemed to have a lot more offense from Punk early on, and a lot of great counters that we haven’t seen from him since his title reign. This match was a good opener, and the crowd was definitely behind the champion after his win, erupting into a frenzy of cheers.
Mike Adamle Announcement:
John Cena is injured. Adamle talks about how John Cena got hurt via the Batista bombs that he suffered at Summerslam. This confirms that Cena does in fact have a serious neck injury and will most likely be out for an extended period of time. Hopefully when Cena comes back, he turns heel, but this means that the WWE’s number one draw amongst kids and teenage girls and single women, is going to be gone for a short amount of time.
Kane talks about how things aren’t tragic for Cena and that it’s a good thing that he’s in a lot of pain. He then rants about how he likes pain and suffering and that Batista is going to be on the receiving end of his pain. Kane tries to be serious, but I can’t get the image of his horror movie outside of my head. I hope that Kane doesn’t get pushed anymore, I’m tired of seeing him try to act all scary, and lose random matches. Maybe they will bury him alive somehow, and we can get some younger talent out there. I don’t know, Kane just doesn’t seem very good any longer.
Primo Colon Segment:
Primo Colon says he’s nothing like Carlito at all and says that Carlito is a jerk and that he’s a better man.
Shawn Michaels shows up and Adamle and himself stare each other down. Michaels wants a shot at Chris Jericho.
Kelly Kelly defated Beth Phoenix
I’m not sure what people are expecting at all, but this match wasn’t all that great, except for the Glamazon getting a completely busted nose. They tried to replay a move from early on in the match, but her nose is just bleeding for apparently no reason. After some replays, we see that Kelly Kelly kicked Phoenix in the face, possibly breaking her nose. Beth continued the match quite nicely, and Kelly hit a lot of offense, including the win! Santino had a hand in this loss for the Glamazon, and I’m probably going to take a lot of heat for saying this but, Beth Phoenix looked really hot, even after the bloody nose. I know, I’m not going to get a lot of agreement. As for the match itself, standard divas match with a lot of offense from Kelly, and Beth trying to work with a broken nose.
Post match, Beth Phoenix beat up Santino and sent him running for the backstage area!
Primo Colon defeated Charlito
Charlie Haas comes dressed up as Carlito, and that’s unfortunate. I wonder if Carlito is going to get fired soon, because this is just a mockery of the character. Whatever, Carlito was on his way out for a while, and he was very vocal about not liking his job at the WWE and his position as resident jobber. Primo Colon is looking good, he’s smaller, but he’s fast and dead on accurate for the most part. This is definitely a far cry from Carlito’s debut which had him winning the U.S title from John Cena a few years back. Primo is definitely a good looking wrestler, and he didn’t seem green at all. He seems a bit you8ng, but he did a good job. Charlito put on a clinic here, wrestling really stiff against Primo and continually pretending to be Carlito in this match up. I could have done without all the rest holds and the random beginners moves, but it worked for this match up. I must admit, I haven’t seen someone win a match via a high cross body block off the top rope. Apparently, that’s his finisher, and I don’t know if I can get behind such a simple move as being the finisher. Whatever the case is, Primo Colon wins his first match in the WWE and he defeats some no name Charlito, who is played by Charlie Haas.
Just for the record, Chris Jericho hitting Shawn Michael’s wife doesn’t look like an accident at all, it looks like Jericho legitimately was aiming for Michael’s wife, as he squarely is facing her and striking her in the face with that solid right hand. I don’t know if like this story line, because it involves hitting a woman, but you know what? It really does look like Shawn Michaels is upset, and if that’s going to make the next Jericho and Michaels match a four star classic, than bring it on!
Shawn Michaels Segment:
Shawn Michaels presents his best promo in years. He’s all sad and serious, and it’s funny to see this. I don’t buy what Michaels says as he says a few things that are stupid. But hey, it’s a storyline. He goes on to say that he’s not going anywhere and that he’s going to extract revenge.
Chris Jericho shows up via satellite, Chris Jericho claims that people asked him not to be on Raw because he would tear up Jericho. Jericho is really hated, and he’s so serious.
Shawn Michaels says the ultimate line, “My wife is tougher than you”, and Chris Jericho quickly accepts a match with Shawn Michaels. This is going to be a huge match up and Michaels wants something unsanctioned! At Unforgiven we are going to get a slobber knocker, and too bad I spent all my money on Summerslam because this match has four stars written all over it. This is going to be great, and if the match really does have the intensity of this promo, we are going to be in for one classic match up.
Priceless defeated Jerry Lawler & Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Anyone that had high hopes for this match should have been shaken. This match was way too late. Duggan and Lawler are NOT in their prime at all. In fact they are way past their prime. Regardless, the crowd was way over for the good guys in this match, and something inside me was chanting USA alongside Jim Duggan and this was not the worst match in the world. I absolutely did not believe that Lawler and Duggan could win against the tag team champions. However, anything is possible in the WWE right? Lawler and Duggan put on the best match they could at this age, and Lawler did a large portion of the work. Duggan got in and lost the match up fast. The tag champions finally get one in the win column, which is a long time coming, since they haven’t been able to beat anyone in their division at all. Duggan didn’t even get anything major in, and just sort of rolled over and won.
Past match, Cryme Tyme shows up in the nosebleeds after Cody Rhodes starts talking smack about how Cryme Tyme stole the titles. This situation ends up setting up a wwe tag team championship match at Unforgiven!
Batista cuts a pro-Cena promo. He says he has nothing but respect, and says that Cena is going to get surgery. He then cuts a promo about how he is going to mop up Kane.
Santino defeated Kofi Kingston
Santino puts his title on the line against Kofi Kingston for free on Raw! This seemed really cool, considering that the Intercontinental championship doesn’t get defended quite as much as the other titles. This is a great opportunity for Kofi, and he took full advantage of this. This match was probably the best Santino match, which isn’t saying much because he hasn’t exactly put on the greatest matches. For once, this was more than just comedy spots, as Kofi really had control of this match early on hitting all of his spots, and Santino really having problems reversing things and trying to get the upper hand. Kofi went to the well too many times and Santino started to dismantle Kofi with some great moves. I was impressed that Santino was finally getting in some offense, including a front face suplex by the book!
Santino was getting ready to run out of this match up and ends up winning the match thanks to an assist from Beth Phoenix. Post match, Beth Phoenix gives Santino a little kiss, but Santino swings her into the corner and makes out with her. Santino is one lucky dude, that’s for sure. Acting or not, man, I’d have a hard time with that gimmick. Beth Phoenix looks to be wearing the pants in this relationship, that’s for sure.
Mike Adamle announces Rey Mysterio Jr. is the replacement for John Cena at Unforgiven!
Batista defeated Kane via DQ
I didn’t have high hopes for this match, and why should I? Both of these guys haven’t had any fast offense in a long time. Kane used to be a great heel when he was wrestling great anti-hero’s or good guys. Remember his matches with Stone Cold Steve Austin? Those were quite great, and I’m even reminded of the time that Stone Cold fought a then covered Kane in a First Blood Match! Remember that one? That was an instant classic, and Kane was a legitimate monster. However, This is 2008, and Kane isn’t quite the monster lately, losing to all sorts of easier opponents. Batista is on a roll as of late, but he can’t save this match. He’s just matching power move for power move with Kane. I really had problems with this match, and maybe it was just because it was getting late and I was tired, or maybe it was the endless supply of rest holds and power moves coming through in this match. I’m sure there was a silver lining, like the near falls at the end or the Kane attempts at winning the match. Batista playing up the injured knee was classic, and I started to wake up indeed. Batista snaps at the end, hitting Kane with a chair, and hitting Kane on the ring post. He’s trying to injure Kane! I’m not sure why he wasn’t getting counted out or disqualified, but they just fight each other like crazy. Or if it happened I wasn’t paying attention, and it seemed like the show ended kind of weird, because I was unclear what happened as the show went off the air with Batista sprawled out on the floor clutching his knee.
WWE Raw Results 8/26/2008
World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk defeated JBL in a non-title match
Kelly Kelly defeated WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix
Primo Colon defeated "Charlito"
World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase defeated Jerry "The King" Lawler & "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella defeated Kofi Kingston
Batista defeated Kane by disqualification
The ending cutting off aside, this edition of Raw wasn’t half bad. It seemed to me that there was a lot of wrestling, even if most of it wasn’t all that great. It’s a good start to the week in wrestling and I at least liked the way certain elements were handled. They are really trying to stack the roster for Unforgiven, but I have no more money! So I won’t be able to check out the event, but maybe you can check it out and let me know how it goes down.
It really sucks that WWE puts on this super card one month after Summerslam! I shouldn’t have gotten Summerslam, I should have waited for the epic confrontation that is going to be Jericho vs. HBK in an Unsanctioned match up!
Beth Phoenix was hot. I guess that makes up for it.
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