Friday, August 8, 2008

TNA Impact Review 8/7/2008 Sounds Stupid

The show is promised to be a bloodbath by the deep voiced announcer. They start the show by telling us that there will be a glass table tonight. The show opens with a ton of interviews and random mic segments, and if this is a sign of things to come, we’re in for a lot of boredom. Seriously tna, stop all the talking and get to wrestling!

Roxxi defeated Jacqueline Traci Brooks (served as Special Referee) Bimbo Brawl

I might be alone on this one, but I like these hardcore women’s matches. I grew up watching ECW on public access television and used to love the way they were violent. This match was like the old ECW and while there was a lot of plunder, there was also a lot of great wrestling spots. Roxxi won this match up and it while it wasn’t a technical classic, it had enough spots to allow for a good match up. It was fast and easy, and for a woman’s match, it was nice to see the knockouts show that they are tough. Roxxi won with what I believe they called it a voodoo drop. It looked cool. Roxxi won, and it wasn’t half bad.

Christian & Rhino Interview Segment:

Christian talks about random crap. I hated this, because the announcers didn’t even talk about the knockouts after Roxxi got the win, they just kind of went to the back. This is stupid. This helps no one, these interviews are just stupid to me. At least there’s a blonde, she’s kind of hot.

JB & Val Segment:

The Prince Justice League has found the ring! That’s all that matters to anyone.

Sonjay Dutt defeated Curry Man

I love Curry Man’s entrance, his dancing is infectious! The camera’s moving is awesome too! This match seemed really short, and Curry Man loses another match up. Sonjay cheats to win the end, and this match really never got developed fully. So Cal Val came down and asked for the ring, and Dutt tried to leave. Shark Boy showed up and gave Dutt a beat down, and the guru couldn’t leave at all. The ring was located and the justice league gave it to Dutt. Val then starts yelling, man, her voice is so annoying!

Team 3D Interview Segment:

This was stupid too, I’m not sure why the TNA company needs more segments like this that do nothing but ramble and bore.

Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed defeated The Motor City Machine Guns

This was an interesting match up, and once again I have to question what wrestling bookers are thinking. I know that they need to put Creed over for the big ppv, but does it have to come at the expense of a real tag team? The Machine Guns once again lose, and the match wasn’t all that great. It seemed a bit too fast for me, and right when things started to get interesting, Consequences Creed gets the win with a quick roll up. There was a lot of high spots in this one, so if you’re a fan of spot fests, you’d probably enjoy this match. I really feel that they are going nowhere with their tag division, and I don’t believe that any established tag team, working together, should lose to two opponents that were just thrown together for the match up. Other than that, this match was good.

Karen’s Angle Segment:

This was lame. It got nowhere, and they just accused Karen of cheating, and Frank Trigg got all crazy.

Kurt Angle Interview Segment:

This was stupid. Angle mouthed off about AJ and how he slept with his wife, and I don’t know, I started to doze off.

LAX, Rhino & Christian Cage defeated Beer Money Inc & Team 3-D

This match was really cool at first, it was getting off to a great start. LAX is awesome, and can really move! However, Team 3-D looked really tired, and the match started to breakdown, and eventually just ended with a quick win. After the match Johnny Devine came out with a kendo stick, and then brought a glass cage. A Fake Glass Cage, as I noted way earlier when Christian got sent through one of these things. They picked up Homicide and threw him straight through a Glass Table, and for a glass table that is suppose to hurt, there was no blood at all! Oh well. This match had all the potential, but it just sort of ended, and after the table spot, people just left. Meaning, the wrestlers just went to the back and that was it. For such a big moment, I would think that the wrestlers would have stayed, but nope…it was nothing of the sort, they just ran off.

Taylor Wilde Rough Cut:

They show Taylor Wilde and her early moments in wrestling, as well as other female wrestlers talking about her. This is boring to me. Once again they talk to Hugh Morris! That was kind of cool, but overall, this sort of “shoot” interview isn’t very fun to me, and guess what? It’s NOT wrestling.

Awesome Kong defeated Salinas

This match sucked and proved nothing to me. Awesome Kong just hits the Awesome Bomb and pins her opponent. Why even waste time with this? Post Match was interesting, as The Beautiful People made fun of her. This is ok I guess, they are setting up a feud, but it seems like they’ve already set this up with the last few weeks of talk. Awesome Kong dropped Salinas with the implant buster, and if Salinas wasn’t knocked out before, she was after the implant buster. The rest of the LAX crew went to the hospital so they weren’t running out to help. But of course, Gail Kim runs down the ramp, and the rest of the knockouts come out to help, and we get a brawl!

The knockouts all brawl, and it’s just a huge melee. Taylor Wilde and Awesome Kong wrestle inside the ring and Awesome Kong shows how dominant she can be by knocking out Wilde, and right before she dropped Wilde onto a chair with another power bomb, Abyss comes out for no apparent reason! I guess he’s the savior or something? I don’t know.

Abyss hits the black hole slam on a security guard for no apparent reason.

King Booker Interview Segment:

Booker is still talking in his accent. He basically runs a promo saying that Joe can’t beat him. He called Sting Batman, that was cool.

Samoa Joe Interview Segment:

Joe starts rambling about how Sting is a coward and bores me. He doesn’t need this stupidity, and he doesn’t need to get over, he’s already over!

Samoa Joe won a Main Event Gauntlet Match:


Kurt Angle
Tyson Tomko
Kip James
Booker T.
Aj Styles
Matt “The Blueprint” Morgan
BG James
Samoa Joe

This match looked awesome on paper. The match started with Aj Styles and Kurt Angle with weapons, and they were really stiff. Angle hasn’t lost a step, but he looks to bear wearing some sort of sneaker, instead of wrestling boots. I miss his old wrestling boots from WWE. (I know, that sounds weird) Aj Styles brought out a ladder, and Angle relied heavily on a trash can for some leverage!

The next guys that came in were Matt Morgan and Tyson Tomko. The two don’t even do anything, they just run away through the back.

Angle and Styles make this match worth watching and really do put on a good show this week.

The former tag team champions, The New Age Outlaws, or the James Gang as you might know them as, came out and wrestle outside the ring. They really let Angle and Aj go at it. Angle looks to have ran into the ladder on accident, and didn’t look like he bladed or anything, this truly looked like an accident, and the replays show that Angle just didn’t duck low enough and really caught a hinge of the ladder! This was really interesting for sure!

Booker T and Samoa Joe came into the ring with weapons and Joe starts pounding away on Booker. Angle comes through and starts beating Joe, and this only makes AJ come back into things.

Apparently this was an elimination match? This seems really weird, but ok. If you get thrown over the top rope, you lose, so guys were getting eliminated during the break, and afterwards too.

The final match up in this match, whatever you want to call it, was with Tomko and Samoa Joe, but Tomko didn’t get much of a match up going, Joe dropped Tomko on his head, and got the pinfall.

An alright ending, and then Sting was in the rafters, to scare Joe.

Tna 8/7/2009 Quick Results:

Samoa Joe won a Main Event Gauntlet Match
Awesome Kong defeated Salinas
LAX, Rhino & Christian Cage defeated Beer Money Inc & Team 3-D
Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed defeated The Motor City Machine Guns
Sonjay Dutt defeated Curry Man
Roxxi defeated Jacqueline Traci Brooks (served as Special Referee) Bimbo Brawl

There was a lot of different things going on in this match up. However, the show had a lot of unnecessary segments. That final match was ppv worthy, if it had more time and clearer rule set, I think this would have been way better but instead the ending seemed a little rushed.

Kurt Angle getting busted open the hard way was a nice touch and wasn’t something they planned; at least not from my perspective.

The rest of the night is somewhat forgettable, but it wasn’t terrible. I liked some of it, and it was way better than ECW.

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