Sunday, April 19, 2009

TNA Lockdown 2009 Results and Review The Foley Era

Tna Lockdown 2009 Results

Eric Young defeated Danny Bonaduce
Suicide defeated Jay “Black Machismo” Lethal, Kiyoshi, Consequences Creed, and Sheik Abdul Bashir in the x-division title match
ODB defeated Madison Rayne, Sojourner Bolt, and Daffney
The Motor City Machine Guns defeated LAX, and No Limit in a WGP Jr. Tag Championship match up
Matt “The Blueprint” Morgan defeated Abyss
Angelina Love defeated Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde in a triple threat Knockout championship match
Team 3-D defeated Beer Money in a IWGP Tag Team Titles & TNA Tag Team Titles Match
Chris Daniels, Aj Styles, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett defeated Kurt Angle, Booker T, Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash
Cactus Jack defeated Sting to win the TNA Championship

Tna Lockdown 2009 Review

That’s right folks, we get another TNA ppv, and I don’t know how I do it, but I get to review it because Comcast lets me every now and again. So here we go, the tna review, or however it is you want me to call this thing.

Eric Young defeated Danny Bonaduce

Eric Young is so much bigger than Danny. That’s the first thing that I saw in this match up. Eric Young was laying into Danny and it looked great, but Danny got a few shots in, nothing too insane, but he was trying more than the average jobber. Eric Young defeated Danny after a few minutes, and this was a throwaway match up.

Post match Danny attacked young from behind, but Rhino ran down to ringside and speared the crap out of Danny, and this segment finally ended.

What a terrible thing to give away in the pre-show, but it was free…well…free for those that ordered it.

Suicide defeated Jay “Black Machismo” Lethal, Kiyoshi, Consequences Creed, and Sheik Abdul Bashir

I was under the assumption that there were teams in this match up, it all confused me; Specifically because this match up was just left and right action. Everyone was just free for all, with the exception of Lethal and Creed, who were teaming together to make things a little different.

Kiyoshi was eliminated first.

Creed and Machismo together were doing good as a team. I liked how they were cleaning house and trying to make this match more than just high spots. It wasn’t meant to be though, Sheik hit the DDT of Mass Destruction and eliminates Creed.

Consequences Creed was eliminated next.

Suicide’s running lariat eighteen minutes into the match up was nice. He turned Lethal inside out!

Black Machismo got eliminated somewhere, when I went to a bathroom break and my wife was reading her twitter instead of watching the wrestling. Lame.
I came back to see Suicide and Bashir getting into the match up hook line and sinker. At this point I wanted Suicide to lose cause he’s lame. I don’t really like Bashir, but at this point, he’s better than Suicide. Kiyoshi ran down to ringside and tried to stop Suicide from getting out of the cage. He jumped off of the top onto a pile of people to win this match up. This was a terrible match, in 23 minutes, the x-division was suppose to be good.

ODB defeated Madison Rayne, Sojourner Bolt, and Daffney

I’m assuming this too was an elimination match. These things confuse me, I want to say that TNA is NOT all gimmicky crap, but this is just another nail in their coffin. I hate this crap.

ODB won this match. I guess it wasn’t an elimination match up. It was a queen of the cage! This was an ok match, but it was just boring to me. There were a few high spots, but not really something that was going to gain more fans. They really wasted their time with this match up.

The Motor City Machine Guns defeated LAX, and No Limit in a WGP Jr. Tag Championship match up

When WCW had those great N64 games I would make matches like this. Seriously, I made these types of matches. That’s also how slow this match was. The middle of the ring was opened up for the most part. The edges were filled with people hitting right hands, elbows, and the middle had Hernandez hitting power moves. Seriously, I hate this crappy wrestling. TNA STOP MAKING Six Sided Cage matches with 20 people inside! Ok, not 20, but if you saw this match, you know what I’m talking about. There just wasn’t enough room in this match to make something good. There were too much competitors in a small ring, and it just came across as stupid to me. Maybe the Chocolate Stout was talking at this point, but I really didn’t think this match was all that good at all. This match was one fall and The Motor City Machine Guns won. I didn’t like it.

Matt “The Blueprint” Morgan defeated Abyss

This match stared with Abyss driving himself into Matt Morgan, shoving his weight around, trying to throw Morgan through the cage as he was just opening up like a house on fire against Matt Morgan. Matt Morgan knocked out Abyss with a kick to the face with a chair, and busted him wide open, creating the first major casualty on the ppv as far as blood is concerned. Morgan then started to lay into the forehead of Abyss. Matt Morgan introduced something I haven’t seen in a very long time. He brought out a bag full of shards of glass! Yea, that was a little weird, and I guess it was part of the match. It couldn’t have been real glass because Morgan was grasping the pieces with his bare hands, and you know that’s not possible without cutting your hand. The Ref got taken out with a Matt Morgan cross body block and business really started to pick up here. Stevie Richards came down to ringside to stop Abyss from using a chair on Matt Morgan! That’s right, Stevie Richards ran down to ringside to stop Abyss! I guess the big revelation was that Doctor Stevie is none other than Stevie Richards. Richards got into the ring to stop Abyss, verbally assaulting him, then slapping him, trying to stop him from using tacks. Morgan than hit a huge slam on Abyss onto thumbtacks and glass; he won after pinning Abyss.

I admit, the match started of great, but it really slowed down to nothing more than a parody of a Mick Foley, mid 90’s match. Abyss has a lot of talent, and he’s just taking pointless risks at this point. Matt Morgan shouldn’t be involved in this feud, but oh well. Stevie Richards return? That was kind of cool, I have to admit that.

Angelina Love defeated Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde in a triple threat Knockout championship match

A triple threat match isn’t exactly what I wanted at this point. Honestly, an hour into this thing and I personally no longer cared about this ppv, it just seemed overkill as it always does to have every match in a steel cage. It never worked for WWE and it doesn’t work for TNA right now. At least not for me, I didn’t really like it. This match had some great spots from Awesome Kong. Kong missed a top rope dive, she also had to fight of Taylr Wilde. The ending of this match up came with Angelina Love playing possum. She had her tag team partner outside tie up Kong’s hair to the cage and so she was stuck. Taylor Wilde then was surprised by Love playing possum, a roll up happened and we got the pinfall win and NEW Knockout champion Angelina Love! Not a great match, not a memorable title change, but it happens.

Team 3-D defeated Beer Money in a IWGP Tag Team Titles & TNA Tag Team Titles Match

With so much hype over those New Japan belts in this match, I had it in mind to root for Team 3-D because they are in need of another championship. This match started with Team 3-D cleaning house, literary, throwing Beer Money out of the ring, then following them out to trash them. The fight went into the audience, then we got the good ol’ fashioned split screen. Things came towards the ring, and a table was set up! Beer Money double suplexed Devon through a table at ringside, then threw Bubba Ray Dudley into the cage, his face completely busted open. The third rope Bubba Bomb onto Robert Roode was definitely a highlight for me that was incredible. Towards the end of this match up, Team 3-D really got into a groove and looked great. They seemed to be having fun for a change, and things were going quite well for them. Devon was getting a table, Bubba was setting up, Beer Money was down and reeling from the onslaught of offense. But then Beer Money got a leg up, and started to use their skills to strike like the champs that they are. Throwing Team 3-D into the cage, setting up the Last Call, and just trying everything they could to win this match up. Beer Money miscalculated the cage door bump to the head, and Team 3-D hit 3D to win this match up! They are the new TNA Champions!

Chris Daniels, Aj Styles, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett defeated Kurt Angle, Booker T, Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash

Kurt Angle and Chris Daniels started this first period, and they were just mat wrestling. Nothing too crazy was happening in this match up, then Booker T came down and him and Kurt Angle were having their way with Daniels. (I know that sounds gross, but it was true man, what can I say). Scott Steiner jumped into the match and it had some nice belly to belly suplexes off the top rope on Styles and Daniels! Samoa Joe was scheduled to come out but for some reason he wasn’t coming out. He just stayed behind, and then came out with a few seconds later. He immediately hit Steiner, then went back and forth with the Main Event Mafia, hitting every suplex in the book, reminding me of Tazz’s old wrestling style. Kevin Nash came out, but was immediately kicked in the face by Joe, hitting the fence immediately. Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe exchanged blows outside, but then he forced himself into the ring and was just dominating early on. With so many bodies in the ring, this thing started to really slow down. Then came down Jeff Jarrett and things were starting to pick up in an all new way. This match was fairly gimmick free, until the roof of the cage lowered down with all sorts of weapons hanging from the top of it! Oh man, this is the biggest gimmick match of all, and what a load of crap. This was worse than the old Raven’s funhouse matches. They switched to a six way camera view of the action and I had no idea what to watch, this was like a weird video game of some kind. Aj Styles and Kurt Angle were fighting on top of the cage. This looked very dangerous, a lot more dangerous than the Hell in the Cell bump. Aj jumped off the top into the middle of the ring, and it looked like Steiner just got his knee blown out! Not a lot of people caught him it was bad, it was really bad, and it was a great match pivot point at this time. There were just too many people in the ring, which made things really bad. There was just too much going on for the camera’s to follow. In fact this reminded me of the old wrestling games on Genesis or SNES, just a lot of crap going on in the ring, the occasional nice finisher, but nothing really going good. Jarrett hit Booker T with a guitar shot, AJ pinned him and this train wreck of a match completely blew up and it was over. This match sucked, I’m sorry, it was just too jumbled.

Post match, the lights went out. Then out came none other than Bobby Lashley! That’s right, Bobby Lashley came out! BOBBY LASHLEY came out and pointed his finger at the cage!

Cactus Jack defeated Sting to win the TNA Championship

I saw Beyond the Mat this weekend and boy was that a nice lead into this match up, which featured a much older Mick Foley in a cage match against Sting for the Tna heavyweight title. Lame. Immediately, this match turned macabre with Cactus Jack getting his face grated open through the side of the cage. This match was a good attempt at trying to entertain jaded wrestling fans, and it told a good story. Sting’s overtly better wrestling skills and stamina shown through, as Cactus Jack was trying to give it another go at it. This match had a silent crowd for the most part, until Cactus put on the Scorpion Death Lock, but didn’t get a submission out of it. This was a really slow moving match up, and Cactus started to act like a madman. At one point he slid into the cage on purpose in order to hit the camera man, and then he tried to get out of the cage through a hole made for the camera guy. Sting turned on the Scorpion Death Lock, it looked like it was going to be over somehow. Meanwhile, Foley got the barbed wire bat into the ring, and was ready to use it on Sting! Cactus Jack hit Sting in the crotch with the barbed wire bat, it looked terrible; a drop toe hold got Foley down, and Sting got the bat and was ready for revenge. Mr. Socko comes out! Sting finally gets busted open, but not really crazy. Foley took the barbed wire bat and hit Sting in the face with it. Foley and Sting started to climb out of the cage, and FOLEY drops out of the cage first, to WIN the TNA World Title! That’s right, MICK FOLEY defeats STING to win the TNA TITLE! MICK FOLEY IS THE NEW TNA CHAMPION!

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