Saturday, August 7, 2010

TNA Impact 8/5/10 Results and Review

TNA Impact 8/5/10 Results

Taylor Wilde & Hamada defeated The Beautiful People
AJ Styles defeated Rob Terry
The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Beer Money in an Destination X match
The Pope defeated Orlando Jordan
Ric Flair defeated Jay Lethal
Abyss & Raven vs Tommy Dreamer & RVD

TNA Impact 8/5/10 Review

Ugh...TNA started with a recap of last week and I was already tired of TNA. I've been doing a LOT of terrible wrestling and somehow, I have to deal with it all the time..nevermind, I was going to rant, but eh, no one cares.

The show opened up with the recap than went into Tommy Dreamer calling out Raven. He asked Raven why he beat up Dreamer.

The whole storyline is that Tommy Dreamer stole Raven's Girlfriend and that's it. He went on about how he was going to screw Dreamer's wife, and the two brawled on top of the stage while Abyss and RVD came out and wrestled. Foley came out with a barbed wire bat to the stomach.

Foley said that he was going to be the special guest referee for the night.

Is it just me or is Taz just phoning it in? He looked like he wasn't even trying tonight, and of course, he sucks.

I'm tired of this stuff...FIRE ALL THE TNA WRITERS!

Taylor Wilde & Hamada defeated The Beautiful People

I like Taylor Wilde, I think she'd be cool to hang out with and...uh...nevermind. Hamada can wrestle, so I was hoping for big things from this match for once. Lacey Von Erich is the WORST of the knockouts. No one could carry her, and Hamada was having a hard time wrestling a terribly rookie. Velvet Sky is my least favorite of the Beautiful People. The motorcycle woman came down and helped the beautiful people by giving lacey von erich a steel chair, but it was Taylor Wilde that kicked the chair into Von Erich and that was that. New champions!

AJ Styles defeated Rob Terry

The television title was defended here, and Styles was hitting hard, but not as hard as Terry. I like Terry, he's a nice counter what is now the standard "wrestling body" and a nice throwback to the 80's. Terry was throwing Aj Styles around like a rag doll, and it was good. After some cheating tactics the former World Champion hit the 450 Splash and won the match. Where is Orlando Jordan? I thought he was feuding with Rob Terry? Oh well.

The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Beer Money in an Destination X match

I didn't like this match. Yes, they put on quite a show, but come on! It's cookie cutter and you KNEW who was going to win. I'm sick of seeing this stupid crap. I'm tired of watching high spots and no psychology, and while I like both teams, I don't want to see them wrestle each week. At least not each other. I need something NEW! PLEASE!

Bischoff and Hogan came out and ran down the card for next week, which was boring. Out came Kevin Nash and beat up Hogan. That prompted Jeff Jarrett to come out and beat up Kevin Nash. That prompted STING to come out in Red Makeup and he used the bat on Jarrett. Sting hit Hogan in the head with a chair. Jarrett was knocked out. The announcers kept talking about how the Wolfpack is back, NWO WOLFPACK...I don't care...I'm sick of these storylines.

The Pope defeated Orlando Jordan

Orlando Jordan finally is getting a shot at wrestling, instead of just freaking everyone out. The Pope was fighting well, while Orlando Jordan was doing his normal weirdo wrestling moves. The Pope eventually got the upper hand thanks to Erik Young. Erik Young ran down to the ramp and started picking up all the money that dropped from the ceiling. The Dinero Express was hit and that was that, the Pope wins.

This makes no dang sense to me. Pope is a franchise TNA player and they could make him into a major ratings draw, but nope. Matt Morgan sneak attacked him and that prompted Anderson to run down to the ring with a chair, and that was that. I'm tired of TNA and their dumb writing, FIRE ALL THE TNA WRITERS!

Ric Flair defeated Jay Lethal

This was embarrassing. I can't believe that Lethal would for this. This is a spectacle. Flair and Lethal fought in a street fight. I kid you not. Lethal in Jeans and Flair in his suit gets completely dismembered. This was sad. Flair wrestled Lethal in his underwear at one point! YES! In his underwear! Flair was busted open and was bleeding like a stuck pig. Flair, with one shoe, one sock and his underwear was fighting what appeared to be a much smarter Lethal. Thanks to Douglas Williams knocking out Lethal, Flair wins, bleeding all over the ring all over Lethal, and wow...This is sad, but you know what? The 12 year old in me was marking out like crazy.

Raven & Abyss vs Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer (no contest?)

This match was terrible. Dreamer can barely work with his bum knee. RVD was ok, and Abyss was ok. Raven was a non issue. The end of this match featured 1/2 of the old ECW roster come into the ring and start beating up Abyss. The Gore got stopped, and out came 3-D! They were ready to hit 3-D but out came Raven with a chair and stopped it all. I used to love Raven, but he just looks fat now. Bring back the normal hair and lose some weight!

The lights went out completely and in the ring was The SANDMAN! AKA HAK! SANDMAN went to town with the Kendo stick! Sandman hasn't aged a bit! SANDMAN IS IN TNA!!! BUT WHO CARES? FIRE ALL THE TNA WRITERS! FIRE ALL THE WHATEVER FIRE EVERYONE! SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THIS STUPIDITY!

The show ended with everyone in ring celebrating...I'm so sick of TNA right now...I'll have a Hardcore Justice review coming Monday...So tired.

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